I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
