hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we're making bets on your personal life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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