What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
