she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize