We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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