I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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