god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
