Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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