ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
