Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Let's get the cat blown out
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
