Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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