well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
