Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
