My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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