Those balls look pretty dangerous.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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