what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize