You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
