Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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