Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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