$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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