as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
