She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
