Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
