elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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