she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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