the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
