hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's like a pop up book from hell.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
