He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My ATM looks so different sober.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
