Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
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