Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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