I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
