Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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