You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize