So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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