I want to have your abortion
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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