I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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