How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Who did Billy Mays play for?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
