just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
