And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
