he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize