i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
