Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
