remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
there is glitter all over my balls
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