You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Two words: nipple clamps
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