i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just tell him i said nine months
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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