Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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