Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We're too hungover to prance.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
