Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
