i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
