I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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