Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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