how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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