clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
