i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm too high and old for this...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
