Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize