Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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