cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
