According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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