He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
