I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
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