he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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