remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
