did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
