just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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