GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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