i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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