Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My ass is underappreciated
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
