We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
