I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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